Satyr's Lament

Something I wrote sometime back. The following post reminded me of it.

Satyr’s Lament

“It’s been forever since any nymphs hauled me into a mud puddle."

“It was day before yesterday!”

“My point, exactly. And it was a pond, not a proper mud puddle. Lucky there weren’t alligators to snap at the dangly bits.”

“There aren’t any alligators for eight hundred miles.”

“Just as well, too. You shouldn’t go tempting alligators. They don’t know any better. We have to make do with snapping turtles around here, and quite sufficient they are, when one latches on, thinking he’s caught a tender morsel. Especially when he’s right. Just imagine sitting down to have a quiet read and finding a forty pound snapping turtle dragging you by the nether regions into the sewers to share with the Parisian sewer rats.”

“There aren’t any sewer rats in Paris, either.”

“Well, that just goes to show you. They all came over here. Even the sewer rats got tired of the French.”