Viva la Revolucion: Cuba legalizes cell phones! And microwave ovens!

Will Weissert for the AP:

Raul Castro (issued) a decree Friday allowing ordinary Cubans to have cell phone service, a luxury previously reserved for the select few...

Of course: To each according to his needs. Gotta love a system where the dictator just decrees things to be legal, or illegal. Ever so much more efficient, and democratic.

Until now, the only people legally allowed to have a cell plan were foreigners, Cubans working for foreign companies and top government officials...

Especially those top government officials.

"Finally. We have waited too long for this," said Elizabeth, a middle-aged housewife waiting in line to pay her home telephone bill. She wouldn't give her last name because she already has a cell phone through a foreign co-worker of her husband.

And she doesn't want to go to jail for an illegal cell phone: You meet the dregs of Cuban society there: people who ran unauthorized libraries, aka librarians.

The new program could put phones in the hands of hundreds of thousands of Cubans, especially those with relatives abroad who send them hard currency. But they will remain out of reach for most on the island...

"I'd love one!" said Juan Quiala, a retiree living on a $10 monthly pension. "But how am I going to pay for it?"

I guess your niece in Miami will pay for it, Senor Quiala. You won't be, unless you develop a time share program for your phone.

The government controls over 90 percent of the economy, and while the communist system ensures most Cubans have free housing, education and health care and receive ration cards that cover basic food needs, the average monthly state salary is less than $20...

Timeshare plans for phones: Revolutionary.

Of course, if unrest were to develop, Cuba's phone monopoly could close down such transmissions with the flick of a switch....

Well, Raul will see to it that Cubans develop a rest ethic. Unrest would be ungood.

...A few phones on sale Friday offered basic camera functions, but those retailed for as much as $280.

Unrest, ungood, and unaffordable. But decreed legal. Unbelievable, except in a socialist paradise. And they have 100% literacy, and 100% health care. According to Castro's own figures.

The decree came a week after a resolution promising consumer goods including PCs, DVD players, car alarms and televisions of all sizes will go on sale in state-run stores Tuesday. Those goods previously could be purchased only by foreigners and companies.

And all affordable by the resting Cuban on $20 a month salary. Big screen TVs will flood the market.

And in December, the government distributed about 3,000 microwaves made by South Korea's Daewoo Electronics. Local authorities say the pilot program...could lead to a nationwide offering of microwaves on long-term credit.

Long-term credit, and time-sharing for microwaves.

It really is nice to live somewhere in unCuba: we can a give a microwave of a finger to Raul and Fidel without going to a microcell in a mega prison. With all the criminal cell phone users and librarians.