Senator Chuck Schumer and his Invisible Friends

New York Senator Chuck Schumer has a column in the January 29th issue of Newsweek in which he wrote:

I thought about some old friends, Joe and Eileen Bailey. Though they are imaginary, I frequently talk to them...In 2006, Democrats did much better with people like Joe and Eileen

So Senator Schumer talks with his invisible friends, his invisible friends talk with him, and they vote for Democrats. If the Democrats keep getting invisible friends to vote for them, pretty soon it will be the Democrats who are invisible.

Senator Schumer then gave his prescription for what the Democrats should offer to do for America:

Democrats should commit to increasing reading and math scores 50 percent by dramatically increasing federal involvement, and funding, in public schools. We should increase the number of college graduates by 50 percent. We should call for reducing illegal immigration by at least 50 percent and increasing legal immigration. We should cut our dependence on foreign oil by 50 percent, and reduce cancer mortality, abortions and childhood obesity each by 50 percent. We should increase our ability to fight terrorism by 50 percent.

I am curious: Just where did Senator Schumer come up with his 50% goals? I find it hard to believe that every issue he addressed needs exactly a 50% increase or decrease. Why should 50% more people go to college? Why wasn't 45% more appropriate? 55%? Maybe only 15%? Maybe the current level is about right. It looks like he just pulled the number out of his hat. Maybe the good Senator got the numbers from his invisible friends.

Isn't federal spending a serious enough responsibility for Senator Schumer to put any thought into? I thank Newsweek for publishing this column. It showed me just how seriously unserious Senator Schumer is about his job.