The World Is Spinning Out Of Control Department: Mormon Crips
People who relocate are generally encouraged to get involved with their new community. California Mormons move to Utah:
"This work involves committing robberies and/or assaults on behalf of the enterprise,'' the court documents state....UPDATE: This story has provoked some back and forth when I inquired of a family member in Utah if he would introduce us to the Crips if we moved there. He replied "Sure, but you first have to prove you can make a serviceable molotov cocktail." A slight reworking of my response:
Yet the criminal profile outlined in court documents, Katoa said, should not define his nephew's life.
...the youngster who accompanied him on fishing outings, stayed nights at his home, was "very obedient with his aunties and uncles, and always respected his elders.''
Even as Angilau and a brother, Vilisoni (now charged in a 2013 murder of a TCG rival), began "making choices beyond our control'' during their mid-teens with the gang, Katoa said they maintained close ties with the family....
"I was investigating a drive-by firebombing and when we got the guy, we found the Book of Mormon in his hip pocket,'' Stallworth said. "He was studying for his mission while he was out there tossing Molotov cocktails.''
Stallworth also describes how investigators sometimes located TCG suspects by staking out their churches.
Not to sweat: Miss Hassenpfeffer, my kindergarten teacher, taught us that Home Ec stuff: gasoline siphoned from a car in the Staff parking lot ("Don't drink it, boys and girls. Yuk!"), some liquid soap from the Girls Room ("Save some for clean up!"), a few pieces of Fritzy Harnischfeger's t-shirt ("Saving America from godless communism requires sacrifices, Fritz. You are opposed to godless communism, aren't you?"), a case of Miss Hassenpfeffer's empty gin bottles ("Extra energy after a day with you wonderful children!"), a Zippo lighter ("Just like real soldiers use, boys and girls!"), and we had the best recess ever at Dunwoodie School. Even the 5th Graders were jealous.
Especially when they realized that the Soviet tank we took out had been the Principal's car. ("Call me erratic, will you?")
The 1950s: Back when America was still a free country, Charles Addams drew cartoons for the New Yorker, and children could still be children.
The Good Old Days.