Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Steak Tartar aka Ground Beef aka Cannibal Sandwiches

In the Spirit of Olde Milwaukee, I had to reply to a column on the recent alleged problems with steak tartar aka the highly offensive term "cannibal sandwiches".

To Wit:
The only good cow is a dead cow. Unless you are a cheese person, of course. It is hard to get cheese out of a dead cow. I'll admit that. Live cows do serve some purpose. Particularly as pre-tartar.

I spent my whole adolescence demanding raw beef meatballs with garlic salt for dinner. I got them, too, and never got sick. Cover the plate with them.

Go to a party and spread the dead cow on some bread, put on a little chopped onion. How does life get better than that? I understand, the cow might object, but I'm a biped. The cow has to look out for itself. Or herself, if you want to get all feminist on us.

It helps to have the beef ground to order, and tell the poor long-suffering butcher that you plan on eating it raw. Then she can take extra care.

And, as a wise man said, eat it the same day it was ground. Like raw tuna with sliced ginger root and musabi. Or carpaccio. Good grief, grow some antibodies.

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