Friday, December 12, 2008

Shama

The last few days a shama has been remarkably tolerant of my presence. Yesterday I was chatting with our next door neighbor when one landed about ten feet away and proceeded to eat a very small anole lizard, biting it repeatedly in various areas before finally swallowing it whole.

Today, while I was mowing the lawn it hopped around looking for bugs while I passed with the mower within 5 feet or so.

Eventually I finished and sat down under the shower tree and yet again it walked around. I went in for a camera, returned, and shot a bunch of pics. Here is one of them:

 
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Sound Internet Advice for the Holidays

The usually suspect Internet has provided this excellent advice. I have no idea who wrote it, but I suspect that, like the Iliad and the Odyssey, it has percolated thru the collective consciousness for centuries before finally being written down by some heroic Homer of the little tubes.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!
Indeed.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Chuck E. Cheese: Out of the frying pan and into the ring

The biggest melee broke out in April, when an uninvited adult disrupted a child's birthday party. Seven officers arrived and found as many as 40 people knocking over chairs and yelling in front of the restaurant's music stage, where a robotic singing chicken and the chain's namesake mouse perform
Sounds like a hoot. I mean..I'm shocked at such behavior. Especially among role models for all the young American youths present.

But I do like the image of the singing chicken and mouse presiding over all the action.

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Aiko, the fem-bot

But not a sex-bot.

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Senator Inhofe...

...apparently is a skeptic on man-made global warming.

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Monday, December 08, 2008

Medicare to Cover Prescription Handguns

And well past time, too.

It looks a bit like a Chicago Palm Pistol, but is only a single shot.

I wonder what the Brady bunch will say.

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Wal-Mart & Hurricane Katrina

The Suburban Emergency Management Project has an interesting article about Wal-Mart's response to Hurricane Katrina, how & why it was more agile and effective than the much-reviled FEMA.

Some of the BIOT Reports linked on the left also look interesting, tho I didn't read any yet.

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Odessa, Texas, Cops busted breaking into a Christmas tree farm.

Radly Barko has the story.

Some raw footage here:

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Mustn't kill the naughty pirates

It would be mean.

And, of course, entail some risk to the ship and crew.

Can't have that.

So we get ever more piracy.

Shippers and insurers who are afraid to fight back get what they allow.

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Sunday, December 07, 2008

Franklyn Delano Roosevelt's speech...

...after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

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