Sunday, October 30, 2011

Florida Python Eats Deer

Purists might carp that it was a Burmese Python, but whether it has a green card or not, it was living in Florida so I think it qualifies as a Florida Python. Anyway, the news out of Florida is that a 16 foot long Burmese Python has been executed after eating an entire 76 pound deer.

Florida may not have the great mountains we have in Hawaii, nor the somewhat more dubious pleasure of volcanoes erupting uphill from subdivisions, but it does have pythons. The Florida Department of Fish and Natural Resources or whatever they call it there is missing a great promo: Python Fishing. There's nothing quite like catching a big python on light tackle, and you can do it right in your back yard. You don't need to bait your hook with a 76 pound deer, either. Any passing delinquent would do. A twofer, so to speak.

Florida could be promoting python dishes. Python salad: the Original Snake in the Grass. Python steak: Tastes just like chicken, but a whole lot longer. Python burgers: Share one with your main squeeze. Barbecued python ribs: Enough for the whole family, and then some. Python pot pie: Beats four and twenty blackbirds any day.

If Florida doesn't get the python population under control while it still can, they are likely to spread like Puritans in New England. There may be a few things comparable to having a 16 foot python sneaking in your window late at night, looking for some cookies, or flinging itself at you from the top of a Royal Poinciana as you saunter down the sidewalk, but just offhand I'm not sure what they are. Maybe being attacked by giant rabid man-eating beavers, but other than that, I dunno.

If you go to Florida, best keep your spinning rod handy. And your shotgun.

Labels: , ,